Every once in a while, a story comes along that perfectly captures something you’ve believed for years—but never heard said quite like that.
This one did that for me.
It’s about Gloria Steinem and a village in Zambia facing devastating sex trafficking. She had the research. The data. The credibility. But when she arrived, she didn’t lead with a solution.
She asked one question:
“What would’ve stopped the girls from leaving?”
The villagers didn’t say education.
They didn’t say awareness.
They said: a fence.
A literal, electric fence. To keep the elephants out, so the crops could grow, so families could eat—so girls didn’t have to be sold just to survive.
It wasn’t about morality. It was about hunger.
And it wasn’t the fence that was powerful.
It was the fact that someone asked.
To me, this story is the clearest, most tangible example of real influence.
It’s something I teach, I write about, and I’ve built my work around:
Influence isn’t about knowing what to say.
It’s about understanding what’s really driving people—and building from there.
Here’s what powerful leaders actually do:
-They ask before they offer.
-They listen beyond the obvious.
-They co-create instead of prescribe.
Because let’s be honest—being the expert is seductive.
But being the investigator is transformative.
If you want buy-in, not just agreement…
If you want loyalty, not just compliance…
Start with asking a better question.
In this week’s episode of Amanda’s Playbook, I’m breaking down this story—and what it reveals about the connection between influence, empathy, and results that actually drive results.
→ WATCH THE EPISODE
P.S. When’s the last time you asked your team, clients, or audience:
“What would’ve made the biggest difference for you?”
It might surprise you. And it might be the thing that changes everything.
Talk soon,
